What is up people of the Internet?! I am DadRob and this is Ardent Fatherhood. I created Ardent Fatherhood as a way to create a community of men dedicated to being the best fathers, husbands, and men that we are capable of being. Here’s a little background on me. I grew up in foster care without a father.
My biological father was an abusive alcoholic who beat his kids until our backside was raw. I am the second youngest of 9; I was 3 years old at the time. I ended up in the care of a woman who took in not only myself, but also my older brother, Chris, and my younger sister, Tiffany. She is a widow whose youngest daughter was just getting ready to go away to college and was looking to fill her empty nest with the kind of kids who needed her to help the most. However, due to our upbringing to that point, we were not the most well-behaved children and proved to be a bit more than she could handle. My brother, Chris, ended up leaving us to go live with some of our other siblings in a different home. Tiffany and I were on our own with these people we still didn’t really know. We were raised in her household, and after 8 long years, we were finally adopted by her.
My adoptive mother had a boyfriend who had been around since long before we had ever come into the picture. Without going into too much detail as it is not my story to tell, he exited the picture after doing some unforgivable things. Now as I said, he had been around for years and up until this point, was really the only father figure I had in my life. As much as I despise him and what he did, he was good at pushing me to be smarter, and work harder than everyone around me. The bad part, not counting the unforgivable acts, is that during these years of pushing me, he also indoctrinated in me that, even though I am supposed to be very smart, I should never show off how smart I am. I should always be at the top but never be number 1. He was quick to point out everything I did wrong and spent many years intentionally crushing my confidence. He has been out of the picture since around the time I became a teenager but the damage is done and I still struggle with these dark feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and an overall lack of confidence.
Don’t misunderstand, I have had some other male role models in my life. I have an Uncle that was around pretty often during my childhood. He used to take me to football and basketball games as a kid and teenager and he never missed a football game in the 8 years I played. I even used to buy him a fathers day present every year. He made sure to tell me every year that I shouldn’t and would remind me that he is not my father.
Growing up, I learned how to ride a bike from my friend Michael and his father. I learned how to change the oil, oil filter, and headlights in a car from my friend Wes and his father. I was brought into a church worship group and given a guitar to learn to play by my friend Andrew and his father. I saw these examples of good men, raising good men.
I have grown up, married an amazing woman, and she has an AMAZING father that I get along great with and am lucky to have in my life. He is still teaching me things that I should have learned about how to be a good man and father. I now have 2 young sons, one turning five and the other turning 2. I know what growing up without a father and with a deadbeat dad can do to a kid and now I am Ardent about making sure they know how much I love them and are there for them, as well as try to teach them the things I have learned from these men in my life.
Ardent is simply defined as Intensely devoted; eager with a secondary definition of fiercely bright. That is the community I hope to lay the foundation for. Let this be a place where men can give each other advice, and share stories of their kids and families. Laugh together over the good, mourn together over the bad, be there for each other in the pursuit of ideal fatherhood; Be a place where men who never had a good father and were not blessed enough to have the kind of friends with good fathers, can come to learn these things that no one was there to teach them. Here at Ardent Fatherhood, we are fathers! we are dads! we are not just sperm donors who never looked back! Welcome, all who are now Ardent about Fatherhood. Intensely, fiercely, devoted to fatherhood. Dedicated to being Dad.